I was drowning
The doctors gave me little pills
Built me a shoreline of synthetic serotonin
They told me to hang on
Said the shore would save me
And it did—but not without cost
There were sharp rocks beneath the surface
Scraping, scratching, drawing blood
Salvation came with side effects
How can the mind mend while the body breaks?
The shoreline was never truly safe

I let it go
Surrendered myself to the maelstrom
Of the untamed serotonin sea
I’d forgotten the chaos of these currents
How they raise me up on cresting waves
Before crashing me down
Where I almost drown again
I can’t forecast my feelings anymore
They’re too unpredictable to name
I am both storm and calm sea
The beautiful wildness of the genuine me

Jo Marjoribanks (she/her) is a Scottish writer who works in the publishing industry. She uses writing as a way of exploring the complexities and challenges of her mental and physical health. What she loves most about writing is its power to create connection and community with people who share similar experiences. She has been previously published by Forest Publications, Prosetrics: The Literary Magazine, and Almond Press.

Instagram: @scribbles_on_scraps