Content Warning: medical gaslighting

In all the stories
The beautiful but sick wilting woman is sent to the seaside
Where the salt air will fix her
Or she will leave behind a perfect porcelain corpse
A haunting and bewitching ghost
Weeping perfect tiny tears quietly
Disturbing no one in her pain and solitude

In reality, there is no seaside
I am not beautiful or bewitching
I am noisy, messy, and screaming about my pain
There is nowhere to send me; my illness is front and center for everyone to face

I do not quietly weep tiny perfect tears
I disturb everyone
I weep loudly, tears of hot fire streaking down my face
I am right here disheveled and bellowing
See Me, Fix Me, Help Me
I am still alive and I am haunting you
Haunting each Doctor who ignores me, every person who gaslights me

I will leave behind a large broken corpse
Maybe sooner rather than later
Nothing beautiful about it
When that happens, bring my ashes to the sea
Perhaps if that’s where my bones rest, the salt air will finally fix me
Or at least I will have ghostly company with all the other lost women wailing in the waves

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Callie Badorrek (she/her) is a writer and artist working and living in Hagerstown, Maryland. Her poem “Neuropathy” was published in the May 2026 issue of Cope Magazine. Callie has been a professional artist for over a decade with her work having been featured in magazines and several galleries. Recently due to illness, she has begun to focus more on writing, something which has always been a passion of hers. Her poetry explores themes on living with chronic illness, navigating the flawed healthcare system as a woman, grief, and trauma but also hope, love, and growth.

Instagram: @monsterhollowstudios